I really enjoyed Heather Michelle’s article “Confessions of a Stay-at-Home Mom.” I thought I would give a guy’s perspective. As a stay-at-home daddy, some of my items are different spins on her “confessions,” while others are original.
1. The house is never as clean as I’d like it to be. Although it seems I would have all the time in the world to clean, that’s not the case. While I usually have time to pick things up and put them away, I rarely have time to vacuum, dust, mop … you know, actually clean stuff. I have one child (age 3) and I can’t stick her in front of the TV for hours just to have a spotless house.
2. I usually don’t take naps. Unless my wife has some free time from work, I am usually hopping from sunup to sundown. Even though I am stay-at-home, I’m not free from the pressure that is on every man to earn money. If I’m not cleaning, I had better be writing to earn a buck or two. If I’m really dragging, my wife will find a little time for me to snooze.
3. I do not have endless hours to play with my child. I wish I did. Since my daughter doesn’t have siblings, I am her main playmate. Sometimes I can stop what I’m doing to play “Noah’s Ark” or “Mary Poppins,” but sometimes I have to tell her to wait.
4. I don’t have any peers. Yes, I know there are other stay-at-home dads, but they are the exception. When I take my girl to the playground, it’s almost all mommies. If I do see a guy there, I don’t see him again. Mommies have a built-in support system that I don’t have. What really drives me nuts are magazines like “Parents,” which really should be called “Mommies,” because it is completely geared toward women. As a stay-at-home daddy, I’m not concerned about my stretch marks!
5. I wouldn’t rather be working outside the home, and I don’t feel entitled to a paycheck for what I do inside the home. That’s because I do work from home (as a writer, notary signing agent, SAT tutor and sports broadcaster) and I still have to earn a paycheck. The more I stay-at-home, the less desire I have to work in an office again. I get much more done at home, and I made more money at home this year than I ever did at a 9-to-5 job. I have to credit my wife, who beat the bushes to find me a lot of good opportunities (including writing for AC).
6. I don’t have plenty of time for entertainment. Usually, I don’t get any entertainment until my kid is down for the night. I don’t want to imply that I’m working harder than Heather or other stay-at-home parents. I’m just not finding this “entertainment time” during the day. The soaps? Not anymore. I watched more soaps (on tape) when I worked in an office than I do as a stay-at-home daddy.
7. I’m not envious of my counterparts in the workplace. I know my daughter is not going to be 3 forever, and the time I’m spending with her is absolutely priceless. I know I have to make some money, but going off to a job doesn’t define me as a man, and I’m not hung up on it.
8. I do get frustrated. Sometimes it seems impossible to get everything done, and I especially have trouble finding time to tackle big projects like cleaning the garage or washing the windows. It’s also hard because I don’t get sick days. Everything still needs to be done, so I have to get out of bed if it’s not my deathbed.
9. I love the flexible schedule and lax dress code. I don’t spend the day in my jammies, but I don’t have to dress up each day, which is great. As a stay-at-home daddy, I get to wear my favorite outfit; jeans, wrestling T-shirt and a ball cap.
10. I don’t think people respect what I do. When I told my co-workers three years ago that I was quitting to raise my daughter, I got a lot of chuckles. “Ho ho, I wish I could do that.” They were implying that I was about to take the easy road. I knew it wouldn’t be easy. I’m not a natural multi-tasker, so trying to do everything at home is more difficult than doing one thing at a time at work. I knew this would be difficult, but I love it. I’m proud to be a stay-at-home daddy. BY Jeff Gormen
Filed under: Stay at At Home Daddy
